FEAR-False Evidence Apearing Real

Sitting here watching my son sleep. So peaceful. It is pretty quiet in the NICU right now. Which is giving a chance to just think about what is going on. Getting inside my head can be a double edged sword. If I don't focus on positive thoughts I can easily slip into the "What Ifs" I will start to predict the future which I have never done accuratly. When I start to try to see the future I usually only see bad things that are pretty much never gonna happen. But right now I am just contemplating some of the feelings I am having. I feel so blessed to have him in my life but at the same time if helpless and scared. Fear is high on the list. The reason for any intensive care unit is becuase there could be problem. Everything is just so back and forth. Problem A is looking great but problem B is looking bad. Then A goes down and B comes up. It all just seems so inconsistant. It just makes me feel powerless.